I am so excited about the Ask Jewels section…I have such great questions coming in! After a long string of spam nonsense (not cool spammers!) the real questions started flowing. This was the very first question asked, though clearly not the first answered. It’s from Jo-Anne of Jo-Anne’s Ramblings. Be sure to check her out and thank you so much for starting off the great questions.
“Ok I would love to know what you think about smacking a child. Do you think smacking is abuse or do you think that a firm smack on the bum is ok?”
I’m torn on this one. Not because I’m worried about being PC but because I really have no experience when it comes to this kind of thing. As a child I was never hit, not even once. This isn’t to say that I never deserved it, I’m sure I did, but it’s just not how things were done in our house. Now, as somebody who works with kids I totally get that you have an urge to sometimes. Then again I have no children of my own, nobody it would be appropriate to spank, so I can’t speak from personal experience.
Have been there times where my hand itched after being talked back to? Yup. Were there moments when sassing went too far and I thought, “If you were my kid…ooh I’d be spanking you?” Yup. Was I was terrified after Monkey walked off in a store and didn’t answer my call? Was I torn between the urge to both hug and spank her? You betcha. I never did though. She’s not my kid and it wasn’t my place.
However, I do not believe a corrective spank is abuse. Of course, I’m talking about a swat on the bottom, not on the face or repeated hits. I also don’t think that it’s appropriate as a first measure before verbal warnings. I do want to point out that I don’t think it’s an effective form of punishment, but I get it, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do. I have friends that swat a bottom and I’ve totally agreed with them doing it.
I do get uncomfortable though when people spank in public. Yes, I understand that discipline isn’t effective if you wait until you get home; no kid remembers an hour later why they are getting spanked. Still, I can’t stand watching an adult spank a kid in stores or at parks.
My main issue with this is that the parents are always screaming, grabbing at the kid, and hauling off on them. You rarely get to see if there is a verbal warning, discussion of consequences, etc. You get one quick glimpse of the situation and it often looks violent and horrible. I immediately get uncomfortable and want to walk over to make sure the child isn’t being legitimately abused.
If you curse at a parent, back talk after multiple warnings, or do something after being asked not to repeatedly (especially dangerous behavior like climbing, going near fire, etc), I think a spank is warranted. Do I think it’s ridiculous that children are threatening parents that they are going to call 911 on them for spanking them? Hell yes! Do I think too much power has been given to children in regards to determining how parents parent? Hell to the yes. Do I think that children should be smacked around for no reason? Absolutely not.
So you see, the problem here lies in knowing the parent, the situation, and being sure that a spank is just that…a spank…and not a beating. In some situations it is a fine line between the two, while at others, it’s a clear case of a spank that is nowhere near physical abuse. My answer is yes and no all at once. Yes, I see how at times it is effective and warranted while at other times I’m horrified and moved to say something.
There is no clear yes and no answer. It’s all a matter of circumstance, parental preference, interpretation, and social acceptance. Are adults that were hit as children ill adapted, social outcasts, who have to seek counseling? If so I seriously doubt it was solely because they were spanked. Do I think that spanking is a particular effective child management method? No. Do I think that anyone but a parent should spank a kid (i.e. teachers, coaches, etc.)? Not at all. Have I made my stance clear? Yeah, I didn’t think so. The fact of the matter is it’s just not that cut and dry. I’m afraid that this is a debate that will rage on (pardon the pun) for all eternity.
What are your thoughts? Share in the comment section.
*Dont’ forget to keep the Ask Jewels questions coming in…I want to hear from you and answer your questions. Want to know my thoughts on something? Have a topic you’d love me to tackle? Want some advice? Drop me a line.*
I’d also like to point out that I have been asked to the Dude dance at The Dude Society. I love those guys. Anyway, voting started Sunday night and continues until Tuesday night. You can vote for your 3 favorite ladies. Preferably myself and 2 others…but I won’t judge if you don’t love what I shared. Head on over and check the guys out.