Lessons I Learned in College: Strange Situation Edition

In college you find yourself in any number of odd situations and you need to be able to think on your feet, react, and handle stress well. This holds true for in and out of the classroom, but why would I start talking about educational learning now? Heck no, real world and life experiences are much more fun to discuss. I had my share of strange experiences in college and I’ll share one of them with you now. I was not too happy about it at the time but am very glad I can look back on it now and laugh.

If you have been reading these posts since the beginning then you know that I had pretty insane roommates my freshman year of college. I was in a triple in a room the size of a single and living with strangers for the first time ever. Jill, the super psycho nympho roommate invited me to head out one night and grab drinks in some dude’s room. I said yes because I had nothing better going on and because it was on campus and I could easily leave and go home if I wanted to. Hind sight being 20/20 I really should have stayed home that night.

We got to the room and I was introduced to the guy hosting the “party”, his name was…well we’ll call him MZ and the party consisted of Jill, MZ, and me. Wow…awkward. MZ was more than a little socially awkward but I let it slide because there was free booze around. The free booze ended up consisting of straight vodka or rum, I picked the rum, poured myself a glass and sat on the sofa in the room. There was music on, no particular artist that I can remember, and we all hung out, talking and drinking. All seemed pretty calm and I was kind of enjoying the friendly conversation. I started to feel beautifully fuzzy headed and tipsy, resting my head on the back of the sofa for a minute and enjoying the haze.

Well, I was enjoying it until I felt lips on my collarbone and jumped out of my skin. Who the fuck was kissing me!? The jolt scared the crap out of MZ and he looked at me with apologetic eyes. In my drunken state I allowed a kiss and quickly regretted my decision. He was a sloppy and awkward kisser and alternated between drooling straight into my mouth and doing this rapid fire pecking nonsense. I ended that right quick!

I excused myself to the bathroom and tried to compose myself, splashed some water on my face and then went back to his room hoping that he had calmed down and I could go on enjoying the evening. I was wrong. I entered the room and Jill and MZ were up, in the middle of the room, dancing. I don’t know how to explain their “dancing” other than it was seriously uncoordinated and horrifying to watch. Think hippie on acid arm waving with epileptic seizures and odd stripper like hip gyrating and you may come close to what I was seeing. In other words it was NOT okay.

I sat down on the sofa again, chugged my glass of warm rum, refilled it and chugged the majority of that glass as well. I tipped my head back on the sofa one more time, just enjoying the heaviness of my limbs and the drunken state that I was in. When I heard the CD change to something more upbeat and less melodic I picked up my head and glanced towards the spinning, dancing figures is front of me. I panicked a little when I realized they were converging on me, arms flailing, and heads bobbing. MZ held out his hand to me, “Come dance with me, Jewels.” It was then that I realized Jill and MZ were totally naked.

I politely declined, picked up my things, and left the room. Whatever happened with them when I left the room is none of my business but Jill did not come home that night. *I’m cringing as I write this!* MZ will feature in many other stories, but not until Junior year when I met up with him again. That, my friends, is how a lady composes herself at a naked hippie dance party.


*Emails have been pouring in for the link posts while I am away and I think you guys are in for a treat. There are a lot of great people to check out. :) I am packing and gearing up for my trip. I’m beyond excited.  I am leaving my computer behind so please do not be upset at the lack of comments and internet presence. I will still be on twitter (a lot I’m sure) and Facebook a bit so be sure to follow me there. 

If you are interested in the other Lessons I Learned Posts…click the links below! 

Lesbians Love Me the start of all this “vibe” stuff! 

Men are Disgusting, like really nasty! 

Men Love Toys and they tend to keep me awake all night with them! 

If he has Red File I’m not dating him! 

Smurf is not just little blue guys and will F you up! 

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19 thoughts on “Lessons I Learned in College: Strange Situation Edition

  1. Wait, so you’re not supposed to drool into a girl’s mouth? Then where do you drool?

    Also, it’s been a long time coming, but your post is finally up. And you even make a guest appearance.

    1. I freaking love your post from today! It was GREATNESS all wrapped up into one post and not just because I was in it. Your brother in law makes me want to sew my lady bits together…just saying.

      PS…you drool into a spittoon silly.

  2. I…I have no words. Except to say that perhaps I am thankful that the only true conversation my first (and very odd) roommate ever had was about Cheezits.

    1. I envy you your Cheezit conversation. I’d have traded for that in a heartbeat. Nope, I got strange as hell roommates…thank goodness I get along with everyone.

  3. Wow. So glad I missed THAT awkward party in college! lol I mean, there are images that can’t be unseen, and nothing short of a brain/eye transplant will fix it. lol

  4. You have lived a someone funny and can say interesting life………well there I have said it your life has been interesting now I think if I was on the recieving end of sloppy yucky kiss and I was drunk I would have wiped my mouth and went yuck rack off………ok I think that happened when I was out at a club way back whe I was like only 19yrs……..

    1. Oh it’s been funny and interesting for sure. Though the insanity has died down since leaving college thankfully. I used to think these were all just “normal” college experiences until I started talking to others who went elsewhere…turns out I really DO just attract crazy. Hmm…

    1. Well of course I’ll invite yo, though that has been my only one and I don’t plan another anytime soon. In fact, let’s just go ahead and say I’m NEVER going to PLAN one of those. Just FYI…collarbone kisses are absolutely acceptable, hell preferred, just usually when I’m conscious. And why no promise of not drooling straight into my mouth? You scare me a little YMB.

  5. I’ve got to say, I admire your ability to shake off drunkenness enough to walk away from that craziness.

    Seriously girl, how DO you get yourself into these situations? It’s like insanity just follows you around!

    But it makes for some really great blogging. :)

  6. Uh. Wow. That’s not how I’d want to spend my weekend. However, the “rapid fire pecking” literally had me laughing at loud. There’s no telling what the naked dancers did after you left, but I can guess what happened!

  7. You and I have had some very similar experiences, haha. If nothing else always remember Jack Donaghy said and “never go with a hippie to a second location.” Best advice!

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