You Made a Liar out of Me

I can’t be the only person who has made absolute statements only to be made a liar of. I do it, a lot. I like to take polarizing stances and then somehow I’m left with my foot in my mouth, doing the very thing I never thought I would.

Like remember how I said I would NEVER watch any of the Halloween, Friday the 13th, or Saw movies? Yeah, watched at least one of all of them. I wasn’t happy about it, but I watched it.

Or that time that I swore I would never be cool enough to have head shots taken, or a professional photo shoot done…well, I just had one this past weekend. So, that happened!

How about when I convinced myself, despite my greatest desire to be a published writer, that I was fooling myself into thinking I could be…whelp, my magazine being sold in Barnes & Noble kinda shattered that one over the summer and again this fall.

Or when I fell in love with Apple when I got my iPhone, and even more so when I purchased my MacBook Pro an swore I’d be loyal forever. Remember that?  Well, I lied. I’m not the very happy owner of a Samsung s5 phone and I don’t see myself ever going back to an iphone. BOOM. Suck that hipster apple users.

Almost nothing beats the whole “I’ll never be the kid of woman who is vain enough to wear makeup every day…that’s exhausting”. Except, now I love playing around with makeup and do wear it almost every single day and I don’t think there’s anything vain or shallow about it.

I made a liar out of myself, and occasionally by other people who convince me that I should be doing things I never thought I would be, and you know what? I love that! I love that I am taking me “I will never”s and turning them into “okays”. I’m excited that I’m branching out, that I’m taking some risks.

Make a Liar out of Yourself
  • Because absolutes are boring!
  • Because you should always challenge yourself.
  • Unless it hurts you, or others, there’s no real reason not to try new things. I mean, don’t start going “hey, I should try meth” because that’s still an awful idea. Use common sense when branching out.

Challenge yourself, badass!

Tell me, what have you been dying to try? 




7 Life Hacks to Fake Patience

Patience is a virtual, or at least so I’ve been told. Personally, I have very little of it. This hasn’t served me very well in life and it’s something, that while aware of, I still struggle with.

What does this mean for me day to day? It means that I have little tolerance for traffic, lines at the grocery store, and commercials. Worse yet it means that I have little patience for things that I don’t do well. I love to learn but I loathe not mastering things immediately.

Recently I purchased a new camera, all pimped out with HD filming capabilities and fancy functions. I thought I knew what I was doing, took it to the hospital to take pictures of my brand new niece, and then full of excitement I uploaded them to my computer. Only, it didn’t. The pictures were gone, not formatted, and I couldn’t make them appear no matter what I did.

They were the first pictures of her and they were gone…just gone. I was so upset I put my camera away and didn’t touch it for another couple of months. That’s how pissed I got. I couldn’t understand it and I had NO patience to try and figure out what I should have just understood. The same thing happened with my camera card port on my computer-it stopped reading the card at all but the card works in other computers. That’s still not fixed and I’m not even trying to fix it—I give up.

It’s a horrible trait, being so impatient and easily frustrated. It’s hindered me in a lot of areas. The following are just some of the instances where my lack of patience has proved detrimental:

  • Grocery shopping while hungry and eating part of something before it’s paid for.
  • Hanging up the phone before the other person is done talking, without realizing it.
  • My anticipation of a wild night often led to me day drinking in college and
  • When something changes the plan I had in my head I get so angry. Change and I don’t sit well together.
  • I hate being late to anything, so if I’m running late and something further delays me…forget about it, I will be livid.

More than anything, I’ve been short on patience with people; with their excuses. Don’t complain to me that you can’t get your work done and then tell me you’re napping. Don’t tell me that you feel like crap and then light up a cigarette. Don’t look me in the face and say “I wish I had your stamina” because, honey, I’m exhausted! Don’t even get me started on people who suck at life and pass on tasks they are fully capable of onto other people.

The only way I stay sane, if that is what I am, is to remember that everything is relative. Keeping things in perspective is pretty key to keeping my blood pressure at bay.

keep reading for the life hacks

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