It is time for another Studio Thirty Plus prompt post. This weeks prompt was “The Big Questions” and here is my take on it.
She walked down the aisle, a smile plastered on her face, clutching her flowers with sweaty palms. All eyes were on her as she fought the urge to rush down the aisle and end the slow torture of this showcase walk. Suddenly her dress felt too tight, too heavy, and it made her claustrophobic. She shook off the feeling and head high, shoulders back; she tolerated the stares until she had reached her place at the end of the aisle.
The music changed and in walked her friend, ready to start her life with the man of her dreams. Everyone stands; stares, tears flow, and then the words are spoken. There was mention of sickness and health, rich and poor, for better and for worse. There was talk of loving, honoring, and cherishing for all the days of their lives. She stood there, listening, witnessing, the giving of one self to another, and felt oddly unmoved.
The smile remained, the outward appearance of joy and support, of elation and honor to be a part of it all never slipped. It didn’t change the fact that inside, in her own mind, she wondered why anyone would ever enter into such a union. Not wanting to be a cynic she kept her opinions to herself but in her own mind she debated the necessity of such conventional pairings.
Later, after all was said and done, the bride and groom seen to their bridal suite, and the party dispersed she sat alone in her room removing the dozens of pins holding her hair up. Sitting on the bed, still in her dress, her hair raining down around her she wondered to herself
What if you never meet the man who changes your mind about marriage?
What if this is it for you and you never find that partner in life?
Is that what your big aversion to marriage is? Is it because you fear it won’t ever happen for you?
And most importantly if it never happens for you will you find a way to be fulfilled and happy in life?
Is it necessary to find a partner to feel like you have led a full and complete life?
For her, in all honesty, it was possible. She stood to run the shower, sliding the dress off her body, and ducking under the warm stream of water. The foggy shower clearing her head she realized she was okay. She was fine just as she was. Love would come or it wouldn’t. A man would finally realize her worth or he wouldn’t. Either way she was at peace with herself, happy with who she was, and capable in her own right of creating her own happiness.
The water hid her tears and she finally accepted that she was perfect just as she was. The big question was no longer “Why haven’t I found love?” or “When will I find love?” Suddenly there was no more question. She had found love, in herself, for herself, because of herself. How freeing it was to realize she didn’t have to rely on somebody else to complete her. How wonderful to know that her feelings, her life, didn’t need to be explained. How amazing it was for her to know she would be just fine; that she was fine.
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Thanks for the support about my Blog Talk Radio appearance. It was a blast and I’m so glad I agreed to it. Sex talk is always fun and we had a particularly good time fielding questions on sex tapes, sexting, the best places to have sex, legal brothels, one night stands, sex with virgins, waiting for sex, etc. If you missed it don’t fret…there is a blog radio podcast you can subscribe to. Just click here and you can listen in. You can listen at your leisure and you know you want to hear my sexy, “I have a cold voice”! Don’t miss out on hearing me talk all about sex. 
Lovely post.
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love this and i love the take on it brilliant
thanks so much becca. I’m happy with the way it turned out.
I think the immediate response to “the big question” is to think of marriage and I really love how you explored the flip side of this.
Also? On a technical writing level, you did excellent remaining in the tense which I know is sometimes a challenge for you. Kickass, girlfriend! =D
Finally, I downloaded your radio piece, but I’m not finished listening yet since it was longer (in a good way!) than I thought. I’m at the brothel part now and no, you certainly don’t have to pay for it, sweetie.
I love that you are listening to it!
YAY thanks for your continued support, feedback, and awesomeness as a friend. It means the world to me.
I fight, very hard, with tense and am glad this piece worked better. I confess it is because I re-read over it before posting for the first time ever. haha.
Its so cool when you can realize just that: “that you would be just fine” Nice post!
It is incredibly freeing.
Gorgeous words. Heartfelt and stunningly poignant.
Kimberly thank you so much for stopping by to read and for the lovely comment.
Love this spin on an age old question. Beautifully written!
thank you. I had to mix it up a little bit…plus since I can’t see myself getting married this take made sense
I am sure many women would be able to relate to this, my eldest daughter use to say she would never find a man and it would only be her and her daughter for the rest of her life but now she has a new man in her life and she says she never thought she could feel this happy………..
Keep sending out wishes to the world that it happens for me but I’m going to live my life full and happy with no expectations.
Brilliant piece of writing darling Jewels. I was guessing to the end as to how it would turn out.
I shall have to check out your radio spot if for no other reason than to listen to your voice (yes i am curious)
You’ll have to let me know what you think. It isn’t that racy at all but it was fun!
BRAVO! I can absolutely relate to this–at this point in my life, I do wonder…not that I’ve given up hope, but you have to be mindful that sometimes some things simply aren’t meant for everyone. If you can be happy with YOU, content with who you are, then your questions are, indeed, answered.
Beautifully done, once again. *Hugs*
I am not surprised that this is what came out when I thought about the prompt since it is where I am as well. Glad to know I’m not alone and that we both have our heads on straight.
Jewels!! This is probably one of the BEST (besides the Optimus one of course) post you’ve ever written. I LOVE it!!! It’s fantastic! and so beautiful.
I tried listening to the show by the way, but I couldn’t stream it. Don’t know what I did wrong.
Thanks so much, Rita! That means the world coming from you. You should be able to click the link in this post for the podcast and stream that easier than the show live.