Since the weekend is now upon us I have a fantastic question to pose to you…When do you go from pursuing to harassing? It is a question that I don’t think enough men ask themselves, or if they do they don’t know the answer. Have no fear because Jewels is here to help you. I’ve seen it one too many times, with myself or my friends when a guy comes up and we are not interested but the guy just isn’t catching on. I’m going to break it down for you.
Yes, we appreciate being pursued. We enjoy having you walk over to us, not with a cheesy line but just because you liked what you saw and wanted to know more about us. We like when you send over a drink and then have the balls to follow up by walking over to introduce yourself. You should definitely try to engage us if you are interested, be witty, make her laugh, compliment her but not excessively.
The problem starts when you do these things and for whatever reason the woman isn’t interested you need to know when to pack it in. We want to be pursued not harassed or stalked. It is a rare man who knows when he’s got no chance, cuts his losses, and walks away. I’m here to tell you what to look for so that you don’t go too far.
If you approach her on the dance floor and start dancing with her and she pulls a friends hand and starts dancing with them instead…walk away. If you are behind her and her friend laughs and shakes her head no then walk away (or slap the friend). If you approach from the from and then she turns her back to you so she can give her friend “Help me!” eyes then you’d probably be better off just walking away. The only time to stick around on a dance floor is when she throws an arm around you, drops it low on you, or actively engages in the dancing. Otherwise, back off, do some close solo dancing for a minute then make your exit.
Most women have no problem laughing with a friend or saying, “oh dear god help me…get him away from me!” when a man comes at them too aggressively on the dance floor. It isn’t always because we are bitches though, I’ll tell you why this is. It’s because without any introduction you are entering our personal space and touching our bodies. We don’t know you, in most cases have expressed no interest in you, and somehow you felt you had the right to come up and bang against us with your denim boner. Is it really any surprise that unless you’re smoking hot or a fantastic dance that this doesn’t work? I think not.
If you approach to talk to her, introduce yourself to her, and after saying hello she turns back to her friend and turns her body away from you well she’s probably not interested. If you notice she has an empty drink and offer to get her one and she says no, chances are you don’t have a shot with her. When she quickly opens with “I have a boyfriend” she either does or she just wants to get rid of you as swiftly as possible.
A woman who is interested will engage in a conversation with you when you open. She will most likely turn her body in her chair to face you and she will maintain eye contact. If she has an empty drink and she thinks you’re cute or interesting and you offer to get her one, she will accept. If you walk up to her and she touches her hair, face, etc while saying hello that’s a subtle body language sign that you’re not completely off base talking to her. If the woman you’ve gone up to has done none of these things then I’d bounce.
It’s not easy going up to women, I admit that. Women now have taken initiative to approach men, send drinks to men, and strike up conversations so we acknowledge that it can be hard. Rejection is never easy but hey, you don’t know them and they don’t know you. It’s a base reaction and shouldn’t be taken too personally. I’m not writing this to sound like a bitch but we will quickly turn bitchy if you push too hard
If you drool, beg, hang on our shoulder, insist on a drink, continue to attempt to push your way into a conversation, or ignore signs that the woman isn’t interested we quickly feel threatened or annoyed and the likelihood that we’ll turn to you and say, “Yo, buddy, you don’t stand a chance…move on!” gets a lot higher. Don’t be that tool. Body language and the outward appearance of general interest should be clear enough to read if you are paying attention. I beg you to pay attention.